Finding your Passion

Diversity is what strikes me most when I look at humanity. All it takes is a look around you to see how each and every person is intricately different from the next. The potential inherent in these many folks can be seen and it looks like a huge display of fireworks. It is however remarkable how very few have actually found their passion in life, when I think that each and every one incarnated here on Earth came with a passion, something they wanted to focus on and explore. We see those who are daring enough to follow their passion regardless of societal restraints and customs as heroes. We see them as saints or at the very least as gifted.

What humanity as a whole doesn't quite see nor understand, is that each and every soul incarnated here has the same sovereign right to tap into their personal passion and explore it. This is what makes incarnating into the Earth experience so sought after. The question remains as to why some people find their passion, whereas others are blind to it, or just can't seem to get in touch with their mission. There are a few possibilities here and although each story may look very different from the next, I bet there is a common denominator. Of course, I can only speak for myself. On my journey, I came with a very clear and distinct talent, a set of talents actually. I came with gifts and a very clear drive. I did not quite understand that drive, but it made me do things that I could not control. I do remember being 12 years old and the question at that age in Switzerland revolves around the path of education one should choose in order to "become" something or other. Career choice counseling was standard for every 6th grader. Had I known then to march in there and say: "OK, I love to dream, conjure up new realities, I'm a visionary, I speak with spirits and would like to fix what's wrong in people, so that they end up seeing their own beauty." I believe I would have seen quite some astonished faces. Quite possibly I would have ended up at a psychiatrist's office and my dear concerned parents (who were clueless as to who I really am) would have given me more than valium (which I was given at some point, so I would stop talking about the fairy world). Clearly, at 12, I was "smart" enough to keep that hidden. All I had managed to say was: I want to work with people". Ah...the face of the counselor had lit up with a knowing smile and he suggested I work in hotels. After all, that's where a lot of people can be found.  (Today, I could possibly see that I would have enjoyed "Career Counseling" much more than "Hotel Service"). There was that ominous sound of confirmation, a stamp thundered onto my file, case closed, counsel given. I ended up going to Hotel School. It was that quick and easy to miss the mark back in 1973.

After having enjoyed the people in hotels for a mere 2 years after my bachelor's degree, I understood that this just wasn't my scene. However, I had had ample time to practice languages and I had met an Italian "witch", one of my staff, who worked as a chamber maid and she introduced me to Astrology and Tarot (in Italian!) These pivotal moments in my early career make up for the counselor's ignorance and he is entirely forgiven for not seeing who I am or what my passion is. What I mean to say with my story here is, that even if you find yourself in a place where you know with all certainty, you don't really belong, there are things you will learn, people you will meet that do fit your path to finding your passion (mission) in life.

Following that episode, it took me 30 years, night school, long distance studies, 2 more degrees, immigration and creating a family that keeps me at home and does not want me to seek employment where just one talent (typing) is used, to finally come full circle to realize that my only passion in life is the very thing I had been so keen on as a pre-teen/teenager.

I think it is around age 14, where that magical number 7 doubles onto itself, when kids get in touch with their passion, their mission in life. I see many people who have made the same experience, that they find themselves back to where they were with their interests. Back at roughly the age of 14. Logic has it, that we can let review pass and travel back in our memories to see what we were enjoying most around that age, truly that which we wanted to do instead of going to school. I dare say, there is a great chance, it was in some form that which you came to explore here on Earth. The form may be different today, but the essence of what we loved so much is still the same.

I offer this information to those who yearn to re-connect with their mission/passion in life. Go back in time and sense the feelings and sensations that you had when you did what you loved most at age 14. Give it a go! When you identify that little grain of truth within you, you will find your heart opening in response. When that happens, you know you found the essence of your passion and you can then go about bringing it back into your life more and more until you are in full alignment with it. The form it may take today is most likely a bit different from what you did as a kid, but in essence it is the very thing you so loved doing. That's when you felt alive then and that's when you will feel alive again now.

It is my dream that more and more people find their passion. It takes courage to go about implementing it again into a life that has taken some twists and turns to anchor into a droning repetition of some motions that were deemed suitable by others, but never really resonated with who you are. It does take lots of courage at times to make changes, but in the end, the rewards will be enormous. Creativity, fulfillment, satisfaction, joy, inspiration, love for oneself, respect and integrity are but a few of these rewards.

Lured by Drama and Fear

It is curious to see what the attachment is to fear. I see people who manage to realize that they are in a state of perpetual fear and I see them courageously step out of that state of fear, into a state of now and love and the fear dissipates. Then, just when I believe that things are steady, that person will express again from a point of fear. It is as if fear is the main focus. It is as if fear is where the most drama can be had. Of course, it is not a conscious choice to return to a state of fear, but isn't the sweetness of love much more preferable ? One would think so. Yet there is attachment to the bitterness and the shaky ground that is paved with fear.

Usually, people are reward based, so returning to a state of fear must give a greater reward than staying in a state of love. There must be some strange sort of pay-off that fear delivers and love does not.

I can only speculate here and coming from my past experiences, this pay-off is excitement, feeling alive. I felt most alive, when a drama would unfold. When centered in the love energy, drama falls away. It just simply becomes superfluous. Its fuel, fear, isn't available so drama becomes quickly an unsuitable expression for a person residing in their heart.

The question that remains is how to solicit an experience of feeling "alive" whilst being in the state of love. For those of us, who reside mainly in a point of love, the answer to this question is clear. Love is the base of all life and we do feel so very much more alive than when fears paralyzed us in the past. The love based experience is however really quite undramatic. Sensations of being alive are quiet ones. There is one other thing that helps very much with the adjustment of the new "alive" vs. the old "alive". What I am referring to is the heart based choices that lead a person to become fulfilled. These choices will lead one to one's passion and also mission in life and that is ultimately where we are at our best for feeling alive and vibrant.

In conclusion, I believe the old pathways of fear and drama will be chosen for as long as a person hasn't connected with their passion in life yet. I cannot imagine someone who is love based and experiences their passion on a daily basis to be lured in by fear again for the sole purpose to feel alive. In fact, I believe that the lure of drama becomes very ineffective and pales when compared to the power and enticing energy one's personal passion in life holds. I can also assume that for as long as a person returns to the old focal point of fear, they have not found their passion in life yet, or if they know what it might be, they haven't found a way to actively express themselves within their field of passion. Once they do, the lure of drama will become non-effective.

Teaching

You will teach with absolute precision that which needs to be learned from you and it is most often not at all that which you think you should teach, nor that which you think others should learn. Trust that every human interaction, every exchange, unfolds in beautiful perfection and let go of the notion that there actually is something specific to teach.
Chapter 43 - "Life on the Leading Edge - A Traveling Companion" 

The Change in Prophesy

I imagine sometimes a world, where everyone is fully understanding just how powerful their desires, thoughts, emotions are. Whole evolutionary scenarios have been changed and adjusted just because humankind pleaded for their fellow man. Armageddon, the "end of the world" (as we know it) was visioned to be rather intense. Scenarios of destruction and upheaval dominated almost every seer's visions. These visions have circulated for the greater part of the 1980s and 90s. Then, I believe it was around 2002, things suddenly changed. Earth took a different route and the visioned prophesies will now not come to pass.

When one deals with the future, things become vague at best, for free will choice is always here on Earth and mankind has full permission to change any plan the creator may have thought of. Some core topics that were part of the earlier visions and prophesies are still very much alive. Indigenous wise people have warned us humans to live closer to Mother Earth and most of all treasure, preserve and honor water, the life giving element. They have further admonished us to live in peace within our own families, and greater communities.

Just in our own small neighborhood, I remember moving here in 1998, where most front yards were manicured lawns with neatly weeded flower beds. Pretty, really, but somewhat unnatural. Now, 13 years later, the neighborhood has changed drastically, a great majority of the front yards feature vegetable gardens and raised beds. We had an empty lot on our street which is now a community garden, where people from our neighborhood gather and tend to quite a large organic garden. I see them peacefully sharing work and harvest, rain or shine. People are coming together. They are doing stuff that just 10 years ago they would not have dreamed of doing. Most of all, they don't mind if their front yard has some dandelions growing ...

The clutching hold of fear is lessening as we move along on our journey to the next dimension. It's an adventure that I treasure every single day. Yes, there are shifts on the planet, earthquakes, famines, droughts, floods and volcanic eruptions, tsunamis, to name a few. Most likely there are more than ever before recorded in the history of mankind. Yet, the disasters are not of the epic proportions that were prophesied and that is due to humanity's rapid awakening world wide. The increase of people opening their hearts, even if they will never call themselves "new ager" or "lightworker" or what have you. These people are the heros of the change in prophesy. They are the catalyst, the reason and the power behind the change of "plan".

Let's not forget that with every natural disaster there is an opportunity to remember that the folks in the midst of disasters, are just as much a part of us, as our next door neighbors, our families and let's at least send love and prayers, good vibes and good intentions out to the areas that are affected. We have seen a cylcone in Australia (Qld) change its course and make landfall in a far less populated area than was projected. We also have seen hurricane Irene drop from a category 2 to a category 1 hurricane. These natural forces are still doing their thing, but every single person who sends their wave of love and support will create an equally natural and strong force that will carry out their wish of minimizing the damage.

This is what ascension is all about. This is the expression of the changed prophesies, where people aren't just dropping off the face of the Earth by means of natural disasters. This is the new path that humanity has embarked on and it is a path where we practice and repeat our feats of dealing with natural disasters. This is the time when we learn to become one big community world wide. (One for All and All for One come's to mind here). This is the time when we can show our true light, the light of our hearts. It is the strongest force in the universe, the fabric of all existence that we are beginning to use consciously and create actual change with, against all foretold doom and gloom and I'm mighty proud of humanity for that.

Embrace the Inevitable

In the ascension process, there is a phase that each person on the conscious trail will encounter at some point. The moment I'm talking about is when it becomes obvious, that the faith that was propelling one along the path takes on a new meaning.

Usually, albeit not in all cases, there is a notion that the Divine energies are outside of the human experience and that in order to ascend we have to become really good humans. Of course I don't want to step on anyone's faithful toes here, but at some point comes the time, when a realization will occur, that there is no divinity outside of our existence.

No, I'm not an atheist, even if this last statement could be misconstrued as such. Let me explain! - The notion that divinity resides outside the human experience is a notion that belongs into the experience of duality. There is the divine and then the not-so-divine - there is God and then there is the human being. Things are separated and understood by contemplation of one thing vs. the other. Such is the very nature of polarity and it is naturally so in the 3rd dimension. It isn't bad, nor is it it good - it just is.

When one steps from the 3rd dimensional experience into the higher levels of consciousness, there comes a moment, when the 3rd dimensional understanding of the experience begins to morph. The experience of seeing divine beings, or God outside oneself begins to lose it's fascination. There is finally the moment, when the epiphany will hit, that there is no separation, that we mere mortals are all (very divine) sparks of this One big (divine) entity. If we are faithful people, believing in divinity, we begin to realize that we can just as easily place faith in ourselves and that we are fully empowered to have this faith placed in us (by us). The notion of a deity that resides outside of our selves, our hearts, becomes almost unfathomable. When this happens, we can observe, that the acceptance of our own divinity is growing more and more, until we embrace the inevitable truth  fully. When we enter this moment, we are able to transcend the illusion that there was an "out there" in the first place. It's all inside and we are "IT".

Integrity

There are a few definitions for the word integrity. 

1. Steadfast adherence to a strict moral or ethical code.

2. The state of being unimpaired; soundness.

3. The quality or condition of being whole or undivided; completeness.

 

The verb to integrate brings me to the point where I feel integrity has its roots when it comes to the process of ascension. True, adherence to strict moral or ethical code can be called integrity. As I understand it, that is however only on the physical level of human interaction and moral conduct. When I look at the second definition, the sense I have of what integrity really means is becoming a lot clearer. "The state of being unimpaired, sound." This touches not only the physical level, but also the mental and emotional levels of a person. Perhaps even the spiritual level. 

When I look at the third definition, my heart begins to sing. "The quality or condition of being whole or undivided; completeness". Of course, we usually refer to this definition of integrity to say support beams in construction or something of the sort. For me it is however a very easy jump to see that we can most definitely speak of integrity, when a human being includes into their experience, the wholeness of their soul. When the higher self is no longer viewed as something outside of the human existence. When the higher self merges with the physical manifestation and any and all notions of division are erased, that is when wholeness is reached. That is integrity in my book.

Assuming Responsibility for Self

I've been pondering about the need for responsibility of self in the new paradigm. Frankly, it seems to me to be a prerequisite for many beautiful things to unfold. Let me try and explain how I view this.

Life and reality is never accidental. It is always a direct reflection of one's inner make-up, be that thoughts, beliefs, ingrained behavioral patterns, genetics and finally contracts that are in place for every incarnation. Thus reality is experienced. Each person has their very unique, own reality. There are overlapping bits of reality of course and then there's the group reality, like how a certain group of people navigate according to common beliefs etc.

It takes a stance of being an unprejudiced observer to see oneself inside the bubble of one's reality. To become that unprejudiced observer, a childlike curiosity and the ability to let things be as they are observed is needed. I've had quite a bit of training through my profession as a homeopath, as there it is vital to be a very unprejudiced observer of my patients' processes. To me it is a natural progression to take what I do in my practice and look at my own experience. I found something that began to make sense a while back.

I have observed that things occurred in my life that could be interpreted as acts of perpetration, which would make me by default a victim of those acts. These things were difficult to experience, but all in all, proved pivotal in my understanding of the workings of my reality and they served their purpose just fine. Anyways, these things that happened "to me" (that is how it was perceived at the time of course) didn't really happen to me by the force of the "perpetrators". They happened in accordance with my innermost beliefs, prepared contracts, my own mindset which is interpreted by the universe as my wishes.

"What?" you might ask here. Yes! I began to see that even something as serious as an assault on my life was nothing other than my deepest wish. I had a wish for dying and leaving this world for a very long time. As a 2.5 yr old, I had been in the hospital as an emergency patient who had swallowed mercury from biting open an old fashioned thermometer and swallowing all of the mercury it contained. I remember a near-death experience back then. I was sent back, it wasn't my time to die and I grudgingly complied - what was I going to do at that young age anyways. Then in my young 20s, I had an awful time trying to get over the untimely death of my mother and I was so very tempted to follow her. I did not, but the temptation was ever present. I grew up from all that desire to leave - or rather, I learned to still loathe my existence, but secretly so. I had stuffed my inability to experience true joy and gratitude of being alive deep down into the abyss of my innermost secret compartments and there the patterns were alive but stored away. Well under wraps.

Until that day, when I suffered through an assault situation, which could also have cost my life. It did not and I do remember thinking very clearly how wonderful it would be to just stop fighting and give in. I was ashamed at the time to still feel that way, but couldn't help myself. Another experience was just a year ago, when I was actually granted the choice whether to finally leave this body and go home. I had pneumonia and breathing became increasingly difficult. The stowed away patterns, my love-affair with death, were popping right back into my face. I ended up choosing consciously for the first time in my life, that I actually, genuinely wanted to live. Ever since, the pattern has changed and joy of life is a daily conscious experience.

Upon reflecting on these instances, where death and life were holding the balance in my scales, I realized that each and every experience I have, be it at the hand of a soul's deed or at my own, it is my very own experience. It is unique to my life and myself. It is mine. Since it is mine that way, I can't possibly continue to pass responsibility for it on to someone else (whoever else). I cannot expect that anyone out there would step in and begin taking responsibility for my own experiences. I truly cannot. The logic continues on. If I am solely responsible for the assault on my life, then it is nothing but a reflection of decades of loathing life. Someone  actually had the courage and goodness to try to do me the favor and deliver the experience that I went through. I have deep respect for that soul. I am deeply ashamed and pained to have caused a soul to be in a position to have to act this out with me in order to almost grant me my "wish" of dying. I am with absolute certainty the only one responsible for my experience.

With the exercise of taking responsibility came a tremendous gift. That gift was the realization that if I am responsible and take on that responsibility in all honesty, I become self-empowered in my life, for the choices I can make within me are the navigators of my outward experiences. I can thus step out of the illusion that I am a victim (that there are any victims at all) and drop that cloak of helplessness. I can breathe freely and feel the sovereign nature of my essence.

It follows that by consistently being very aware of my reality, taking responsibility for every single experience, there is no room any longer for judgment. Not even toward myself, for it is as simple an act as changing one's thoughts and beliefs that will deliver a different reality, if the one just experienced seems somehow not that which we are really wanting to experience.

One can access and move onto the upward spiral by going through this pattern sequence:
Observe your experienced reality consicously- take honest responsibility for the experience and own it as your own creation - you will experience the release of victimhood - self-empowerment will follow - new choices lead to a new reality - the new reality, created consciously leads to self-love, joy and gratitude.

Legions of Volunteers

With a sense of futility, I have spent the last few days, trying to be youthful and get up easily in the morning, to no avail. The lead-like sensations in my head are only subsiding when I lie down to go back to sleep. Well, I'm not quite sure whether I should call it "sleep". Yes, the body is asleep. The mind is however traveling, far - ! Often times there are dreams that give indications on what the heck i'm out there (wherever there is), doing whatever I'm doing. I have a night job, that much seems clear.

There is no sense of urgency when I am going through these very intense periods of nightly work. However, most mornings, there is a sense of accomplishment, yet coupled with a bit of frustration that I can only guess at what it was I was doing and even though I have a fair idea somewhere in the back of my head, I don't think I could explain it in linear fashion. Besides, I'm kookoo enough already without such tales from beyond the veil, where everything goes and limitations are an unknown thing.

One thing  I know however and that is that I am not alone doing this kind of nightly jobbing. We're a team, legions of beings actually, all assigned to their specific tasks which are according to their specific talents. Volunteers we are called and it is our greatest joy to participate for participating sake. Recognition for our work is usually not forthcoming on the physical plane. Our groggy heads and leaden morning shuffles alone have to suffice to signal us that we had a hell of a  party all night long - a work party that is. This is a moment where I feel it is most important to remember self-love and self-recognition. Pampering is a great way to make up for the strenuous energetic work that goes on relentlessly every night and even if it looks like self-indulgence, make a stubborn decision that it is not. It is important to leave a place where you don't feel at ease with the people there (if you can). It is important to nourish your body with food and fresh water that agrees with it (it's individual and I'm too tired to come up with food lists anyways). It is important to take time out moments of silence, where your mind can detach from the daytime hustle. It is important to allow yourself to feel this way and know that it won't last forever and it IS the one indicator that gives us recognition of our hard, hard work, similar to sore muscles after digging up a garden plot.

Here's to the legions of volunteer souls, currently incarnated, carrying out quiet day jobs of no social impact, as well as their secret nightly escapades ! - You know who you are !

Authenticity

It is by fearlessly following the impulses of one's heart, even if the suggested action seems foolish, that one gets rewarded with all any soul ever wanted - Authenticity.

Read the full chapter "Authenticity"  in "Life on the Leading Edge - A Traveling Companion" available on Amazon.

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Back and Forth

The pull of the old paradigm of thinking and expressing, of experiencing and judging is alive and well. For a little while longer, as we approach more and more the slow dissolution of the absolute boundary that separates this or that. 3D (duality) concepts have creeped back seemingly with a vengeance. I see expressions, reactions and discussions around me that are based entirely in this old paradigm that we are about to transcend.

It seems to me that there is a sense of desperation in it all. I can see fear pop back up where heart was reached. I can see judgments made, where acceptance had been found. I can see misunderstandings reappear that had disappeared. (Mercury is of course still retrograde and contributes to this). I feel desperate attacks launched where the misunderstandings caused feelings that seem to warrant these attacks.

I decide to remain steadfast. I name that which I observe, I try to name it gently and I know that I am more often than not risking to be the elephant in the porcelain shop. It's ok. We've had these energetic fluctuations before, quite a few times already. The energies that pull back into 3D vibration are quite strong right now, but it is not impossible to remain in a 5D paradigm. It is not impossible to laugh when realizing that the old concepts are active and decide to step back into love energy. It is not impossible to be stubborn and go one's path. It is however allowed to dip back into 3D as well. There is no judgment where one resides. Some physical bodies actually may need the old energy frequencies for a while longer before the transition into the new dimension is possible. All is as it is supposed to be. It's a wild ride to be thrown along with the "birthing" waves of Mother Earth. It's also very fascinating to see it all unfold.

The anchor for peace and harmony lies in the heart. When the fears, that come as the polar opposite of love appear, know that you're dipping into the dimension of duality. It is most definitely not a bad thing. It just is what it is. We are not on a path where we flee from one dimension to the next. We are on a path (along with Mother Earth) where we journey in harmony with her own development. Any attribution of good or bad to one dimension or the other is a sign of duality thinking that is active. Breathe and find the heart. In the heart, all dissolves into oneness. That is the base for the next breath. As sure as the energies have pulled many of us back into the 3rd dimensional experience, they will propel us onward again with the next labor push.

Dreams and Realities

The fabric of reality is most certainly changing. I could see this in my own little world, where reality is shifting and never ceases to be malleable anymore. There are openings, yet I find myself rather on my own these days. It is ok though. Loneliness would have been possibly the emotion associated with these states, but it just doesn't feel like loneliness anymore. I am sensing that the reality of emotional perception is changing alongside the reality changes as well.

The ups and downs that made my life so brilliantly vibrant have been replaced by a more even keel experience. Life brilliance and vibrant moments are experienced in other ways. The dependency on extreme emotional states to fulfill that need for brilliance has waned almost completely. One could assume that boredom is now in place, but it is not so. This new reality I call my own for now is actually just really peaceful and it feels harmonious to me. It's not at all boring - boring would require an attachment to things being exciting and the sense of loss of that excitement.

All in all, I believe that more and more people will find these places where at first it looks boring, but then when the attachment to excitement slowly wanes, the central state of being is one of quiet satisfaction. Of course I can still step into a place of drama where one point of polarity battles its opposite and is in a perpetual state of tension, but for some reason, that has lost its appeal. I enjoy the slowly moving waters that I craved so much when I was in midst of the rapids on my own personal river. I've obviously had my run through the rapids and what a ride it was!

Fear has almost completely left my experience. I am reminded of its existence through interactions with fear based people and as always, I want to reach out to lend a calming hand, but I have to realize that they are on a different leg on their journey, and taking away the "ride" would not be very nice of me. So I let things be more and more. I find myself in very deep states of acceptance. Acceptance and also tolerance, for I rejoice in seeing diversity more and more.

In my dreams, this beautiful integration of a new paradigm (of belief and thought), which forms my reality is also reflected beautifully. I am having fantastic dreams and although the details of how my subconscious brings the images to my consciousness is very personal, the main factor in those dreams is that my emotional state is always one of absolute fearlessness. It isn't the reckless courage that compensates an underlying state of fear, it is the true absence of fear. Fear is replaced with a combination of love and power. Power isn't the overreaction and abuse of power which is coming from the place of fear in order to throw up a wall of self-protection. Power is efficient, used only when necessary to do what I need to do and always accompanied with a sense of love. Sometimes, things (in my dreams) just need to be done.

The language of the subconscious mind is very clear to me from this point of perspective. There is nothing to fear and I have everything it takes to do what I came to do - and... I'm doing it, all in a good night's "rest".

Finding Balance

It is high time I listened to my innermost voice. It tells me in no uncertain terms to let things slide today. Nothing is that important for me to forget to pamper myself now and then. It seems to me, balance has a way of establishing itself quite forcefully. I've stretched myself rather thin lately, with many projects, catching up, volunteering, helping out. Yes, it was fun, but my body is aching and my mind is numb - or something like that. High time to just take a few hours of time out - It's important that we listen to these signals, I intend to be all ears today :)